Looking for something better than Twilight?

May 12, 2009    By: Matt W. @ 9:39 pm   Category: Life

Try Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Since the thread over at BCC has officially been closed for a while, thought I’d give a tip to you all.

For those of you questioning the LDSness of this recommendation, keep in mind that Pride and Prejudice has a special (sucky) LDS version while Twilght has no special LDS version (but the movie definitely counts as the sucky version.)

And while Stephanie Meyer has made major inroads towards us having our own Shakespeares (As in authors of stories with oodles of sexual tension that cater to the common folk of the time), this post is a reminder that we as a people still have some way to go.

As a means of comparison, let’s look at the protagonists.

Edward has nothing on Mr. Darcy. Edward is undead, Darcy cuts off undead heads. Edward has so far been in one movie, Darcy has been in at least 5, and counting (and yes, I am counting Bridget Jones’ Diary tyvm). Edward still lives with his parents and has for a long time. Darcy is the lord of Pemberly (a big freaking mansion for you noobs). Edward’s skin sparkles like diamonds in sunlight. Darcy has no such Liberace-like problems.

Bella is a whiney little girl. Elizabeth Bennet is a shaolin warrior trained in musket, sword, and dagger. Bella gets her but kicked by 1 very lame looking vampire. Elizabeth Bennet kills so many undead in this book, it is impossible to keep count. Elizabeth is likeable and understandable as a character when she is flirting with Wickham, Bella and Jacob, not so much.

In conclusion let’s look at the first sentences of the two books:

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down.

vs.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

’nuff said.

*-Stephanie Meyers, if you read this, sorry for dissing your book. I’m a stupid boy and all that.

8 Comments »

  1. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.

    Dude, you made me cry. I know just how that zombie feels.

    Comment by BrianJ — May 12, 2009 @ 10:04 pm

  2. I am happy to report that the BCC thread was re-opened shortly after being closed. BCC is happy to accommodate all your Twilight firestorm needs!

    Looks like NCT has the corner on the Austen zombie firestorm market, though.

    Touché.

    Comment by Cynthia L. — May 12, 2009 @ 11:35 pm

  3. I’ve been dying to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies since I first read about it a couple weeks ago. I made it through a degree in English at BYU without having ever read Jane Austen (a feat in and of itself), and am now married to a lover of Jane Austen’s books. But the main thing holding me back–the lack of undead braineaters–has now been fixed.

    Unfortunately, I’m probably going to have to buy it, in spite of deciding to be better at using libraries. But the New York Public Library system has 4 copies on order and, last I checked, more than 130 holds on those 4 copies.

    Comment by Sam B. — May 13, 2009 @ 5:53 am

  4. I just finished reading “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” It is a fun and hilarious read! Fancy parties are interrupted with zombie attacks, trips to the countryside are filled with zombie mayhem, and dignified ladies of English high-society are gaurded by ninja warriors.

    For a guy who had never read Jane Austen (but forced to sit through the occasional Austen-based movie), it was just what I had hoped. Boring, flirty, dialogue with just enough zombie gore to keep the story moving along.

    And Seth Grahame-Smith’s next book is supposed to be Abraham Lincoln–Vampire Hunter. Can’t wait!

    Comment by Derek — May 13, 2009 @ 7:41 am

  5. I guess there is a way to make Pride and Prejudice worth reading. (*ducks and runs for cover*)

    Btw, my wife and teenage children loved this post. I’m afraid my sense of humor has rubbed off on them. (I apologize regularly for that.)

    Comment by Ray — May 13, 2009 @ 8:50 am

  6. I really don’t know how it can compare with Brandon Sanderson’s The Way of Kings.

    Comment by Kent (MC) — May 13, 2009 @ 8:59 am

  7. I accidentally touched the “Twilight” DVD at Costco Tuesday night. When I showed up for PEC later that evening, I was pronounced unclean and invited to leave.

    Tomorrow begins my fourth day of ritual cleansing.

    Sorry to sully your post with my unclean comments.

    Comment by Brian Duffin — May 14, 2009 @ 12:39 pm

  8. What are the chances that “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” will be made into a movie …

    For a second I thought one of the last lines of this post read “and in concussion …”

    Comment by danithew — May 16, 2009 @ 8:53 pm

Leave a comment

RSS feed for comments on this post.