The time has come to potty train my Grand Finale and I donâ€™t feel Iâ€™m up to the task. You see, there is nothing that strikes more fear in my heart then potty training a kid. Itâ€™s too hard, all the excrement, I just donâ€™t want anything to do with it.
I guess my patience for diapers is wearing out because Iâ€™m actually starting to think that going through the terror of potty training might be worth it in the end. That and my husband yelling, â€œItâ€™s time to get this kid out of diapers!â€ more and more.
You would think that after potty training (p.t. from this point on) 3 children I would be an old pro. Nothing would be further from the truth. My oldest 3 were so different from each other in the area of p.t. that I feel more confused now then I did when I started.
My first learned the nuances and fine points of toileting in 2 days at age 2 1/2. I was certainly very smug when I was finished with her. I wondered what all of the fuss was about and I figured everyone else must have remedial children.
My second born, and one of the brightest people I know, took a full year to become accident free. It was a stressful 12 months, one which caused me to age about 20 years during the whole p.t. process.
My third was pretty typical. He was about 3 and he took about 2 months to get the process down to a science. I was expecting it to be much harder since everyone told me boys were so much more difficult to train than girls.
Now itâ€™s time for my last. After 10 straight years of diaper changing Iâ€™m so ready to be done with the olâ€™ Pampers and Huggies that it hurts. Iâ€™m just not quite sure how to go about it. Every time I mention using the potty #4 screams and runs from the room making me wonder if sheâ€™s ready. Then tonight I go into her room to get her ready for bed and sheâ€™s insisting that she change her own diapers. That makes me think that she might be ready for the potty.
Iâ€™ve tried giving her little treats every time she goes potty but it hasnâ€™t really worked. My oldest kids end up fighting over who gets to use the potty so they can get potty treats while my youngest sneaks in to the bathroom when she knows we are distracted and breaks through my candy security devices so she can gorge on the treats until they are gone.
Now Iâ€™m trying to gird up my loins and take fresh courage by reading the â€œPotty Training in Less Than a Dayâ€ book. I must say that Iâ€™m more nervous now than before I read the dang book. Can I actually find a day where I have nothing to do but focus on getting this kid trained? Do I even have a doll that wets itself?
The book also suggests buying a bunch of your childâ€™s favorite drinks so they will have to pee a lot on the day you p.t. Iâ€™m frightened that it will be a â€œDay-long Accident Festivalâ€ at my house.
I guess I need some support here. Does the â€œPotty Training in Less Than a Dayâ€ method really work? Iâ€™ll do it if itâ€™s the miracle the authorâ€™s claim it is. Does anyone else have any good ideas for me in this area?
Wait a minute! I think I know what Iâ€™m going to do. Iâ€™m going to leave the country for a week and tell Geoff that if he loves me deeply and truly he will have this kid trained by the time I get back. Works for me!