Raising Boys
I have returned to the valley of the sun after a brief visit to the evergreen state. I was hoping for rain during my visit since this sunny valley hasn’t seen any rain for over a hundred and twenty days. I was disappointed in my hopes. It was beautiful, sunny, and cold the whole time I was there. Oh well, I’m sure there will be other trips to the land of continual rain.
While I was gone my children behaved themselves very well and my husband did an excellent job caring for them. They had only one dark moment when my son decided to channel Rowdy Roddy Piper during primary.
According to several accounts Quinn decided to body check a sweet, impeccably dressed little girl several times. Maybe this was his way of showing his affection; I hope she remembered to be flattered as she was being slammed against the wall. He also thought it would be a good idea to punch the kid next to him once or twice. Quinn then tried to avoid punishment by getting his good friend to give him an alibi. His little friend turned on him faster than a jar of mayonnaise in the sun.
The next accounts have Quinn standing in the hallway shouting, “You’re a poopyhead!” to his overwhelmed looking teacher.
She was then heard saying, “Someone needs to get this kid’s dad. He’s been hitting, and kicking, and spitting at the other children all through class.”
Ah, my little angel!
Honestly I have had very little troubles with Quinn in public settings. He’s usually one of the better behaved boys in the class (I think). I’ll be darned if he thinks that he can be a complete turkey in primary anymore. I’m thinking of marching him over to his teacher’s house and making him apologize to her. I’m also thinking of sitting next to him in class and whacking him upside the head when he gets out of line.
Sheesh, I’m at a loss! What’s the best way to handle a little boy gone wild?
I lean toward your dad’s classic line: “A sized 12 boot to the butt solves a multitude of problems”…
Comment by Geoff J — February 20, 2006 @ 8:38 pm
Best way? Not leave him home without his mommy! I’m not being mean here, it’s just that I’ve been going through this same kind of thing with my 5 year old son. Here’s the naughty kid in my life: We have a housekeeper (::ducks::) There, I said it. Anyway, she takes care of him from about 1:45 when he gets home to about 5:00 when the rest of the family arrives. Last week he locked her out of the house for 2 hours. (While he proceeded to eat an entire box of Scooby-Doo Fruit Snacks). When we came home, our housekeeper was furious, and so were we. I talked to the little guy about why he did such a mean thing and his exact words were, “I need you.” “But I’m here right now.” “I need love when I come in the door.” A few other incidences that just happen to take place during those magical three hours when we’re not home have taught me that some kids (i.e., mine) just act out when mommy’s not there to give them attention!
Comment by meems — February 20, 2006 @ 8:46 pm
True wisdom Meems and that is a funny story about the scooby doo snacks.
Comment by Kristen J — February 20, 2006 @ 8:56 pm
It depends on how old he is. I think that marching him over to his teacher’s and having him apologize to her is a great idea but I’m not sure how well it would stick with a three-year old. I think it’d work pretty well for a five-year old and maybe even a four-year old.
Comment by harpingheather — February 20, 2006 @ 9:29 pm
Usually well-behaved little boy + sudden wrestlemania moves in Primary = someone who probably missed his mommy, his routine, and his boundaries. (No reflection on dad intended!) Maybe you could take it as a sort of backhanded compliment? Funny how kids can show how much they miss you!
I think your idea of an apology is a good one. It could even be kinda fun-maybe make a card together for the teacher, or bring a treat for the class on Sunday.
And I don’t know if this would apply, but something that worked great for me was reverence “practice”. If the child in question misbehaved in sacrament meeting, I privately came up with a rough number of minutes spent poking his brother, say 5 or 10 or whatever. Then when we got home, I pleasantly explained that he would be sitting on a chair practicing reverent behavior for that same amount of time. It didn’t take long before all I had to do was give the boy the “eye” and look at my watch, and voila, no more poking (at least for a while!)
Comment by C Jones — February 20, 2006 @ 9:41 pm
Now that I think about it, you may be more right than you know, C Jones. However I think it was not so much him missing mama as it was him missing out on her proper caretaking. Specifically, it probably was largely brought about by me not feeding him enough before church (he wasn’t too interested in lunch and I didn’t force the issue) and my not bringing snacks like mom usually does. Our block is from 2:00 to 4:30 and he was complaining about being really hungry by the time sacrament meeting got rolling. I managed to weasel a small bag of cookies from some friends sitting behind us but that probably wasn’t enough to really do the job. I suspect that had a lot to do with his exceedingly crabby behavior in primary — low blood sugar. (His mama gets pretty crabby when she is hungry too and he inherits natural surliness from me to begin with…)
Not that he is an angel lately even when well fed though. At 4 1/2 he is going through a prolonged surly phase it seems… He is gaining a reputation as a “Crusty Quinn” ’round these parts.
Comment by Geoff J — February 20, 2006 @ 10:17 pm
Dear Kristen and Geoff J:
Sorry to have to break this to you, but we have learned by sad experience that sometimes the prolonged surly phase lasts until you drop them off at the MTC.
You have my condolences and best wishes. :-)
Comment by Mark IV — February 21, 2006 @ 7:27 am
Oh Mark! I don’t want to hear these things.
CJones- the reverence practice is a great idea. Definitely painful for little boys but not traumatic.
Comment by Kristen J — February 21, 2006 @ 8:36 am
When picking our 2 year old up from nursery I engage in what has now become a standard conversation with the nursery leader:
Me: How was Paul today?
NL: Oh, he was great.
Me: Did he hit anybody?
NL: Only a few times.
Comment by a random John — February 21, 2006 @ 1:55 pm