I want you to take a good, hard look at your…jeans. I’ve been noticing lately that a few of us are having a hard time saying goodbye to the last century. I have a message for you, the 90s called and they want their jeans back. If you are currently look over your shoulder and wondering if I’m talking to you, the answer is yes.
Here are a few tips on how to tell if your jeans are out of date:
1. If you have jeans that have pleats in them take them off immediately and run (don’t walk) them to the nearest dumpster, fireplace, quilter, etc.
2. If you have jeans that are sky blue in color you should really think about giving them to the nearest charitable donation center.
3. If the pant legs on your jeans get narrower as they head south these should also be donated.
4. If your jeans are a combination of 1-3, I’m not sure I can help you here. You might need professional help.
5. A quick note on slacks; while you can still get away with pleats and cuffs you should really think about phasing in flat front and cuffless slacks whenever possible (pleats on suit pants are fine).
Now calm down! I’m not saying you have to wear bell bottoms. No one here is expecting you to be that cutting edge. You have plenty of options that don’t include parading around in a pair of flares. One option that you might consider is buying straight-legged jeans. These are nice and conservative and people will respect you for your restraint.
Another option (and my personal favorite) is the boot-cut jean. Don’t worry you don’t have to buy a pair of boots to wear with them! Any nice pair of shoes will work as long as they’re not boat shoes or penny loafers.
As far as color goes I prefer the indigo with a little wear on them. I know other people like to wear the blue with a greenish tint. I think they’re supposed to look like someone wore them everyday for about 2 years with out washing them. Personally, I am not cutting edge enough to really go for that look. I think I’m also a bit too cheap to buy jeans that already have holes in them.
You may be shocked at these suggestions. I’ve met a few gen Xers who have recoiled at the suggestion that their pegged pants were not hot. It’s ok, think about it for a few days. If you’re still not sure ask a spouse, loved one, or friend. If they think your 90s pants are great then forget you ever read this. There’s a good chance you might hear them say, “Now that you mention it, your jeans could use an updating.”