I think I may have come out of my “bah humbug mood”. Do you know what caused me to do so? Christmas letters! I love them. Every December I run to my mailbox hoping that it will be stuffed with letters from family, friends, and people that I knew for a little while a very long time ago.
There are 3 kinds of Christmas letters: the very braggy, the super boring, and the humorous. I love them all.
Let’s start with the most boring of the letter types, the super boring. The reason I like these is because they make me feel better about myself. I can read them and think to myself, “Hey, at least I’m not as boring as these poor suckers!” You may think I’m incredibly rude after reading those last statements and you’d be right. Don’t we all have rude moments in life? I just like to share mine with a faceless mass of strangers.
The rarest of the Christmas letters is the humorous. Occasionally a dear friend will come up with a really great idea for a Christmas letter that brings a little Christmas joy along with it. These, in my opinion, happen much too infrequently.
The most common of the Christmas letters is the very braggy. I think these are almost as entertaining as the humorous Christmas letter. Growing up my family would get a letter from some old friends of my parents that was particularly great. I would wait for this letter and as soon as it came I would tear it open and read it aloud to anyone with in hearing.
It would talk about the 2 children in the family Chris and…Shoot, I can’t remember the girls name. Dana! Her name was Dana! Anyway, it would always say things like “Dana has been invited to play Clara in the New York City Ballet’s presentation of the Nutcracker. We were thrilled she was asked but we have to decline since we will be spending the month of December in Brussels where Chris will be receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.” Ok, I’m exaggerating but not by much! Of course it was always accompanied by a picture of the two teenagers wearing matching sweaters and smiles while sitting in front of a gorgeous waterfall.
Once or twice I asked my mom if we could do a Christmas letter spoof. It would say things like “Daddy has finally cut back on the booz much to the likin’ of his kin.” Or “Jr will be making parole this year. We will welcome him home with some 40s while shootin’ our pistols in the air.” Or “Our little baby will be havin’ her 4th baby in as many years. We aren’t sure who the father is but no matter, the welfare board don’t care too much about that.” Of course our letter would have been accompanied by my family wearing overalls, daisy dukes, and blacked out teeth. Usually my mom would just ignore me when I made this request. Maybe someday….
Now I want to hear about the best or worst Christmas letters you’ve ever gotten. If you would like to include excerpt from your own Christmas letter you can do that too. Merry Christmas!