Husbands, boyfriends, and guys with crushes: You would be wise to listen to my words for they will serve you well.
It’s that time of year for you — a time of feeling, overwhelmed, frustrated, and maybe a little fearful. You must find the perfect gift (or maybe just a gift) to give to your beloved and you have no idea where to begin. Stress no more for I, the angel of Christmas presents, am here to guide you through these yuletide obstacles. In other words, this is just a little friendly advice to turn you from doofus to hero on Christmas morning.
My first bit of advice is this: Never, ever show up empty handed. This is an extremely bad idea. One you will pay for many, many times throughout the year. You might think she will not notice but you have never been more wrong, my friend. In fact I had a friend mention to me just the other day that she got nothing for Christmas last year. A caring soul patted her on the back while the rest of us shielded our eyes from her. It was a bullet many of us had barely dodged (or not) on many occasions.
Here is another bit of wisdom for the rubes amongst you: Kitchen appliances do not a full present make. Your gal may ask for a Kitchenaid, a lovely and expensive gift, but if you want to be a true champion throw a little bling into the mixing bowl.
Wait! Wait! Calm down and take a deep breath. It doesn’t have to be an expensive bauble, just something to show her that she isn’t your kitchen maid but a treasure worthy of beautiful things. Look, go to an accessory section in any local department store and you will find many shiny things. Another secret for you; there is often a clearance section in the accessory department where you can find these treats for a mere pittance (make sure to remove the red tag clearance price from the gift).
Another piece of advice for the inexperienced: Lingerie is a gift for YOU. If you purchase this type of gift you might as well write “To: Me, From: Me”. Sorry to burst your bubble, that’s just the way it is. Now if you want to make sure she feels inclined to wear any lingerie for you in the following year do not drop the ball on Christmas morning.
Finally, if you are going to give her clothes make sure they are not dowdy, dumpy, or ugly clothes. One Christmas my dad gave my mom a dress made of polyester with an attached (yes, I said attached) pearl necklace at the neck. As soon as my mom saw it she said, “This looks like a dress your mother (my grandma) would wear!” It was not a pretty scene and my dad had to do some major backpedaling on that Christmas morn (sorry Dad, I had to tell that story).
I don’t want to leave you feeling more frustrated or overwhelmed than before you read this post so I’m going to leave you with an inexpensive yet lovely idea for a Christmas gift for the one you love. Find a romantic poem, lyric, or saying, copy it to a word file, change the font to something elegant, and put it in an appropriate picture frame. That could do the trick for you. (Of course this gift shouldn’t be a solo gift unless you are a struggling college student or struggling financially in general.)
Life can be cruel and demanding. Make sure that your loved one knows that at least on Christmas morning (this advice works for birthdays, anniversaries, and valentines too) somebody thinks she is special.
Fellow readers feel free to share experiences, give advice, or ask questions. I know that with a little effort this Christmas can truly be a day of peace on earth for you and your beloved.