You know normally I don’t have to ask for advice from people because most of my family members like to give it to me before I even need it. So, I’m not really sure how to go about it. I guess I’ll just have to ask and hope I don’t mangle this post up too badly!
Hhhhmm, I’ve tried several times to start this off with a question but it has sounded so awkward and unclear that I will just start off with an example. I have a friend who I no longer live near that is going through some painful times in her life. You see, she has a nasty habit of being a “taker” when it comes to being in friendships with people. She is very controlling but tends to cast her friends off when they no longer serve her purposes. Now she has run the gamut of friends in her area and is wondering what happened to all of her best buddies.
“So what,” you ask. Well I guess I wonder if I should fill her in on the reasons that no one really wants to indulge her in her controlling ways anymore. Since I no longer live around her I really don’t have that much to lose and I think she might have a lot to gain from this information. Do I tell her and risk burning the small bridge of friendship we still have, or do I let her figure it out in some other way that doesn’t involve me and let our relationship stand as it is? What is the Christ-like way to handle a situation like this?
I have learned in the past that giving people unsolicited (it’s in my genes!) advice –especially if it is of a negative nature — rarely goes over well. It has tended to do more harm than good as far as the relationship goes. But if it benefits someone in the long run maybe the relationship doesn’t matter so much.
What do you think?