{"id":980,"date":"2009-05-12T21:39:06","date_gmt":"2009-05-13T04:39:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/?p=980"},"modified":"2020-01-09T05:14:36","modified_gmt":"2020-01-09T12:14:36","slug":"looking-for-something-better-than-twilight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/2009\/05\/looking-for-something-better-than-twilight\/980\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking for something better than Twilight?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Try Pride and Prejudice and Zombies<\/a>. Since the thread over at BCC<\/a> has officially been closed for a while, thought I’d give a tip to you all.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

For those of you questioning the LDSness of this recommendation, keep in mind that Pride and Prejudice has a special (sucky) LDS version while Twilght has no special LDS version (but the movie definitely counts as the sucky version.)<\/p>\n

And while Stephanie Meyer has made major inroads towards us having our own Shakespeares (As in authors of stories with oodles of sexual tension that cater to the common folk of the time), this post is a reminder that we as a people still have some way to go.<\/p>\n

As a means of comparison, let’s look at the protagonists.<\/p>\n

Edward has nothing on Mr. Darcy. Edward is undead, Darcy cuts off undead heads. Edward has so far been in one movie, Darcy has been in at least 5, and counting (and yes, I am counting Bridget Jones’ Diary tyvm). Edward still lives with his parents and has for a long time. Darcy is the lord of Pemberly (a big freaking mansion for you noobs). Edward’s skin sparkles like diamonds in sunlight. Darcy has no such Liberace-like problems.<\/p>\n

Bella is a whiney little girl. Elizabeth Bennet is a shaolin warrior trained in musket, sword, and dagger. Bella gets her but kicked by 1 very lame looking vampire. Elizabeth Bennet kills so many undead in this book, it is impossible to keep count. Elizabeth is likeable and understandable as a character when she is flirting with Wickham, Bella and Jacob, not so much.<\/p>\n

In conclusion let’s look at the first sentences of the two books:<\/p>\n

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

vs.<\/p>\n

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

’nuff said.<\/p>\n

*-Stephanie Meyers, if you read this, sorry for dissing your book. I’m a stupid boy and all that.