Anyway, I tracked down the article that documents these findings and, since it took some work, I thought I’d post the title and abstract here:

“Decisions and Revisions: The Affective Forecasting of Changeable Outcomes” by Daniel T. Gilbert and Jane E. J. Ebert

Abstract: People prefer to make changeable decisions rather than unchangeable decisions because they do not realize that they may be more satisfied with the latter. Photography students believed that having the opportunity to change their minds about which prints to keep would not influence their liking of the prints. However, those who had the opportunity to change their minds liked their prints less than those who did not (Study 1). Although the opportunity to change their minds impaired the postdecisional processes that normally promote satisfaction (Study 2a), most participants wanted to have that opportunity (Study 2b). The results demonstrate that errors in affective forecasting can lead people to behave in ways that do not optimize their happiness and well-being.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Volume 82(4), April 2002, p 503–514)

To make a very long story short, my personal experience with temporarily giving up the pursuit of happiness 11 years ago is as follows. Having focused on my personal pursuit of happiness for years, having gotten everything I wanted, and realizing that I was more miserable than ever, I decided that happiness was a pipedream and that I would ignore it and concentrate on living my life the way I believed was right, regardless of whether that made me happy. Six months later, I realized I was happier than I had ever been. Unfortunately, it seems to be hard for me to permanently stay off the pursuit-of-happiness treadmill, because having gotten a taste of happiness, I want more. However, my experience does back up Christ’s statement that by losing our life in the service of our fellow men we find it.

I doubt Dan Gilbert could get a book published these days that tells people as blatantly as I just did to ignore happiness, but he did manage to get one published that subtly tells them to ignore happiness. However, he does say in the book that he expects no one will take the advice he offers.

I really enjoyed Gilbert’s book. I like TStevens’s summary. One other point that stuck out to me was that, when making decisions, we tend to overestimate our own uniqueness and therefore undervalue the opinions of other people who have faced similar decisions. So this might seem obvious, but he suggests that if we’re facing a tough decision, we might profit from asking someone else who faced a similar one.

Also, regarding closing off choices, I also read a wonderful little book by Barry Schwartz called “The Paradox of Choice.” Schwartz argues, as Prisoner #Unknown put it so well above, that in most circumstances, we don’t have the time or resources to make an optimal choices, so we end up being happier if we make a “good enough” or satisficing choice. Schwartz also hits the point about irreversible decisions making us happier than ones in which we try to hold our options open.

I recommend both books. Both writers are very good at making their points in clear and interesting ways. Gilbert in particular also made me laugh out loud several times.

The other thing worth mentioning is the knowledge that you are conducting your life in a manner worthy of honor, respect, and divine approval, even if you have fallen far short of those standards in the past, and respect sometimes seems in short supply.

Think about how you met your spouse – well planned event or a delightful accident (I am assuming that the spousal relationship is happy).

TStevens, from your description, the book sounds pretty good. If we undermine our actual happiness because we are totally wrong in our predictions about what will make us happy, that does seem like a tractable problem, which means we could all get better at being happy. Cool.

Peter (#8), thanks, that was the connection I was missing.

Prisoner, thanks for the interesting comment. I think you’re correct that there is a lot of “milling around.” As to counter tops and carpet colors, I don’t think these fit very well into your DESTRUCTIVE and CREATIVE categories because they don’t have any real moral significance. It is just that certain ways of approaching these kinds of decisions will lead more easily to be ultimately happy with our decision.